So I tried to see it from their perspective. Here's what I came up with...
Dr Terrizi: I have literally been a pediatrician longer than you have been alive. Trust me, I thought he would be fine, he was just a little cold.
Me: I forgive you.
Dr. Frost: I thought there was definitely something more to it; I knew there was something more to the situation. I wish there hadn't been; I hoped I was wrong. I shouldn't have given up.
Me: I forgive you.
Dr. Derek: Wow! I thought he was fine. I should have given him the x-ray. I should have listened to your concerns.
Me: Ok, I'll sympathy forgive you, but we are not friends.
Med Students: (internal conversation) I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I'm so tired.
Me: I forgive you.
Dr. Swider: Damn it! We should have moved faster, I should have moved faster. I really screwed up. I'm so sorry.
Me: I forgive you.
Evanston Hospital: I saved your dad twenty years ago...open heart surgery ring a bell. And your mom, five years ago; she's cancer free, isn't she?
Me: Ok, I forgive you.
Hospice Jen: I'm sorry.
Me: I forgive you and love you!
Hospice Lauren: I should have been more persistent. I'm sorry.
Me: I forgive you.
Menkes:
Yea, like I'm gonna give Menkes a second chance. Nope, Menkes is the only one who deserves my anger. TJ was sick; it was not anyone's fault. Yea, I wish someone would have figured it out sooner so he'd have had the chance to fight, but that didn't happen. I can't live in the past, in the what ifs. I have to live in the now.
So, on that note, Kendall and I packed up TJ's room today. We found a shelter for abused children that needs his toys, books, and clothes. Mom and Dad will drive with me later this week to drop off TJ's things. Back to honoring my little guy. Enough with the wallowing.
Oh, and Mary and I are going to write that book together. Our boys deserve it!
I love you little guy! My faith waivered, but I am back. Let your faith be bigger than your fears.