Kelly Lake is a place that has been in my family for half a century. You know it, that place you went as a child to run barefoot, eat hotdogs with no plate, and unleash a side of your personality that fed off of sunshine, exhaustion, and possibly malnutrition mixed with a sugar high. Anyway, we are back here for our two weeks of rest, relaxation, sibling rivalry, and waterskiing. As I write this, from the deck, overlooking the lake, with the campfire crackling, I am sure that I am blessed. And it is in this place, next to an Oak Tree planted in his memory that I want to write another entry in his story.
I come here to tell stories, stories that come from a heart softened by loss, a mind set free by a baby, and a truth begging to be told. We connected I think, not only because of a little super hero, but also because we felt safe here, exploring what is, and leaning on faith to light the way. We became a small community, a silent team, and there is a story left to be told, it’s just harder these days for me to find the words to tell it…
Let your faith be bigger than your fear. I think now that I’d like to talk about that.
***
My friend’s mom died when we were young. Mrs. Duke was a very important mom in my life. She was my Girl Scout troop leader, my dear friend’s mom, my neighbor, and my mom’s friend. Her’s was one of the first memorial services that I ever went to. I went with my mom and I think I was a little scared. The pastor read a letter that Mrs. Duke had written when she became a member of the church. In the letter, Mrs. Duke spoke about her faith. She wrote that she had always known God and believed in the Gospel. And as the pastor read her words, it was impossible not to feel that all was ok in the world. Mrs. Duke knew God and God was in complete control at that moment. Mrs. Duke was in heaven and her words written about her certain faith calmed us. But it wasn’t necessarily the exact words that took root in me that day; it was the peace of God that calmed the fear in each of us that felt the loss of Mrs. Duke that I carried with me from that day forward. I quietly carried that concept of faith being bigger and stronger than fear, faith carrying Mrs. Duke’s family through the loss of a mother, faith connecting us to one another and to God. And I observed from that day forward. I noticed faith in people’s lives.
***
So, I spoke at TJ’s memorial service about how I wanted to spend my time understanding God’s gift of TJ rather than dwelling in the sorrow of my own loss. And I’ve been doing a lot of searching lately as we make our way through a year of “firsts”. So in no particular order, here are some gifts from TJ that I understand better today:
Death. Death is not something to be feared. Though for us who are left behind, we feel a great loss, our loved one has been given the gift of eternal life at the side of God. With faith, we rest assured that TJ, Mrs. Duke, and all the others who have gone before us are living a more glorious life in heaven.
This life. It is once. It is fleeting. It is now. Go live it!
***
I love you little guy! Let your faith be bigger than your fear.
I come here to tell stories, stories that come from a heart softened by loss, a mind set free by a baby, and a truth begging to be told. We connected I think, not only because of a little super hero, but also because we felt safe here, exploring what is, and leaning on faith to light the way. We became a small community, a silent team, and there is a story left to be told, it’s just harder these days for me to find the words to tell it…
Let your faith be bigger than your fear. I think now that I’d like to talk about that.
***
My friend’s mom died when we were young. Mrs. Duke was a very important mom in my life. She was my Girl Scout troop leader, my dear friend’s mom, my neighbor, and my mom’s friend. Her’s was one of the first memorial services that I ever went to. I went with my mom and I think I was a little scared. The pastor read a letter that Mrs. Duke had written when she became a member of the church. In the letter, Mrs. Duke spoke about her faith. She wrote that she had always known God and believed in the Gospel. And as the pastor read her words, it was impossible not to feel that all was ok in the world. Mrs. Duke knew God and God was in complete control at that moment. Mrs. Duke was in heaven and her words written about her certain faith calmed us. But it wasn’t necessarily the exact words that took root in me that day; it was the peace of God that calmed the fear in each of us that felt the loss of Mrs. Duke that I carried with me from that day forward. I quietly carried that concept of faith being bigger and stronger than fear, faith carrying Mrs. Duke’s family through the loss of a mother, faith connecting us to one another and to God. And I observed from that day forward. I noticed faith in people’s lives.
***
So, I spoke at TJ’s memorial service about how I wanted to spend my time understanding God’s gift of TJ rather than dwelling in the sorrow of my own loss. And I’ve been doing a lot of searching lately as we make our way through a year of “firsts”. So in no particular order, here are some gifts from TJ that I understand better today:
Death. Death is not something to be feared. Though for us who are left behind, we feel a great loss, our loved one has been given the gift of eternal life at the side of God. With faith, we rest assured that TJ, Mrs. Duke, and all the others who have gone before us are living a more glorious life in heaven.
This life. It is once. It is fleeting. It is now. Go live it!
***
I love you little guy! Let your faith be bigger than your fear.